The Ho'oponopono Forgiveness Process
(Guided By Arno Koch)
There are people that we believe don't deserve forgiveness. But what is the result of not forgiving?
- You harbor that emotion inside of you, whenever something reminds you of that person, negative emotions come up and you release stress hormones every time, impairing YOUR wellbeing, not theirs. Decisions under stress are rarely as good as decisions that you make when you are relaxed and creative.
Whom does it serve not to forgive? If the person who wronged you really wants to impair your wellbeing, they will appreciate you having those negative feelings. If it serves anyone at all, then then only THEM.
Remember, forgiving someone doesn't mean that you will start liking that person again or trust them again nor repeat mistakes.
It means "getting flat" with the person, so that you take the emotional charge off them and can make the decisions that are right for you.
It is also not an alternative to setting and enforcing boundaries. You may want to exercise forgiveness when someone violated a boundary of yours, but the next step is to set and enforce the boundary with love and do what it takes, so that the person is not able to do it again.
If you still wonder if forgiveness is possible or appropriate in your case, read this amazing story.
There are 3 main reasons to forgive:
1. Someone wronged you
2. Someone did something that is really okay but you have a hard time dealing with it (Like when your daughter goes on her first date)
3. Someone left/ died and you haven't let go yet