Reciprocity is one of the invisible forces that relationships are built on. Whenever you do something nice for another human, that person feels the need to do something nice for you – to reciprocate.
The simplest thing to do for someone is to smile. Chances are, you’ll get a smile back.
Did you know that the power of reciprocity is actually so strong that you can use it to make people leave your life?
Give them something they really value and appreciate and don’t allow them to give back. They won’t feel comfortable in your presence anymore.
Now, what role does reciprocity play in your relationship?
I often hear people say “I have done EVERYTHING I can, now it’s up to him/her to do something!”
Those people are giving their power away. Chances are, even as the partner does something they could appreciate, they may interpret ulterior motives into a token of appreciation and thus suppress their urge to reciprocate.
I believe in cause and effect but I sometimes can’t tell what comes first…
By paying it forward, by being kind and appreciative, you move the odds in your favor and harness the power of reciprocity.
But what if they don’t reciprocate?
Couple of thoughts…
Maybe what you’ve done is something YOU would appreciate but doesn’t mean anything to your partner.
The 5 love languages can give some hints.
Sit your partner down and ask “What things that I do, do you appreciate?”
Maybe they even start with things you don’t do. If so, listen closely. Then ask again “What things that I DO do, do you appreciate?” And don’t even expect to be asked the same question back.
What if you’re thinking your partner may be a narcissist who only takes and never gives? – Then the problem is likely only the tip of the iceberg. Book a discovery call and let’s see what’s going on.